Dear Parents,
Hello. I have so much gratitude for each of you who thanked me yesterday, gave me a much-needed embrace, and sent heartfelt e-mails. Your kind words and thanks are helping me get through this awful & emotional time. I cannot imagine what it was like to be left to wonder about the safety of your child once you found out about what was happening. I would like to give you as many details as possible about the experience yesterday in hopes to help you understand the environment, precautions taken, and shed some light on a horrific event.
The students were finishing up a brain break during the writing period when I heard the lockdown announcement. I followed all procedures from training, locking the door, shutting off the lights, and ushering the students to a place out of sight. I took attendance, double-counted, and triple-counted. I realized that one student had asked to use the restroom and hoped that he knew to get to the nearest classroom or hide if he was still in the bathroom. At first, I thought it was just a drill, but as the announcement continued to repeat itself, “Lockdown. Locks, lights, out of sight,” I heard 2 loud pops that I knew were not good sounds. Luckily, the kids didn’t notice them. Ms. Jan, our EA was in the classroom. She assisted in counting and helping to keep the kids quiet. As I realized the lockdown was not a drill, I started to move the kids closer together to make a tight little circle in the library corner of our classroom.
I got up to grab my phone and noticed the overwhelming number of police vehicles out the window. My mouth went dry and my hands began to shake. I tried my best to keep the kids calm. At this point, a few of them were crying thinking it was not only a drill. I encouraged them to take some deep breaths and assured them that they were safe. As scary and horrible as this whole situation turned out to be, the love in the room was intense as well. Students reached out to hold hands, wrap an arm around a friend, squeeze a shoulder, rub a back, pass a tissue, and even give a sneaker squeeze. I sent countless messages trying to find my missing student but had no luck.
I wish I never had to witness so much fear on the faces of children, but it was there. While managing my phone and Ms. Jan’s phone, I learned about what was going on. My family in NJ was sending me news updates and the 27 students, Ms. Jan, and I sat together waiting. When I received the text that each class was going to be ushered out by police, I finally told them that this wasn’t a drill and they had to listen to me very carefully. We all tried to be as quiet as possible. I gave out peppermint candy to help suppress coughing. I told them that the door was going to open and police officers were going to take us to safety.
At this point, more students started crying because they were worried about their family members that either worked in or attended our school. I continued reassuring them that they are safe and that I will protect them. It must have been terrifying for them to hear the pounding footsteps on the roof, see the reflection of flashing lights on the wall, and experience commands and walkie-talkie sounds from the hallway. I assured them that those sounds were good and that the police were there to protect us all. I admired their bravery and wondered what their young minds were thinking.
I admit that I dreaded the moment when our classroom door would open. Students continued to give each other reassuring smiles and check-ins. It was heart-warming to witness their compassion during such a scary time. After almost 2 hours, our classroom door opened and 3 fully armed officers entered our 4th-grade classroom. A scene no student nor teacher should ever have to experience. They were as gentle in their words as they could be. They asked me how many people were in the classroom and I told them 29. They instructed us to put our hands on our heads after shoving anything we had into our pockets. It was breaking my heart that the kids had to do this.
We were ushered out of the classroom leaving behind open Chromebooks, unfinished fractured fairy tales, and lines of poetry scattered about. A learning environment, frozen in time. In the hallway, more officers directed us down the stairs and out the western elementary entrance. Once outside, we were allowed to remove our hands from our heads. We walked across the street and stood on the sidewalk waiting for buses. It was hard to keep the kids quiet while listening to instructions from police officers. The students did not know what had happened. It was even more difficult to keep my emotions together as my partner, family, and friends called and texted their concerns. My colleagues and I tried to maintain order in the midst of sirens, flashing lights, announcements, and frantic parents.
Yellow school buses arrived to take us to Northridge Recreation Center and we boarded the bus packing 3 students to a seat. I can’t imagine what was going through their minds as we exited the school grounds passing a helicopter, ambulances, firetrucks, and countless police vehicles and officers. “Woah, this is a big deal,” I heard one of them observe. It felt surreal to see for myself and still could not react the way my mind was beckoning me to. I focused on the kids and continued to inquire via text about the student who left class to use the bathroom. I was so worried about him.
Once we arrived at the recreation center, teachers organized students in alphabetical order on designated tennis courts and I kept my eye on the door of arriving students, soaked with rain, hoping to see my last student. As I walked down my line of students, asking them for their date of birth, I saw that many of them were being kids-- playing chopsticks and laughing with friends. They inquired about the missing student and admired their concern for others in the face of all of this confusion. A few students, rightfully so, were white with concern for their siblings who were also students.
As soon as I could, I left my class with the other 4th-grade teachers and Ms. Jan to try and find a sister, a brother, and my missing student. I felt like I couldn't breathe until I found him and knew he was safe. I asked a police officer if the team swept the bathrooms in elementary school and he assured me that they did. This made me feel a little better, but I continued looking for him.
Finally, another group of students was bussed in and I saw a little person wrapped in a soaking wet oversized red zip-up being embraced by an older girl. It was HIM and he was with his sister. I felt like after 3.5 hours, I could finally breathe again. Eventually, I was able to reunite him with the class. They cheered as we approached and my heart was full. They welcomed him back and we all sat together waiting to reunite each student with their parents- grade by grade. Students asked me if I knew what happened and I told them that didn’t know but was trying to find out. A lie I felt bad about, but I felt was justified.
When it was our turn to leave the tennis courts, we held hands and made our way up the stairs to the mirrored exercise studio. As parents were matched with their children, I started to tear up because of all the love in the room. Smiles and relief in all of your faces tugged at my emotions.
Again, I thank you all for the kind words and embraces. I have been thinking about each child and wish I could give them all a hug right now. They were so brave and I am proud of them.
I promise to do what I can to make a change in school safety. My former students from NJ have reached out in concern. These sweet 13-year-olds should not have to be worried about their teacher. This breaks my heart, but it is very real and sadly a part of the world we all live in. I will continue to teach respect, empathy, kindness, tolerance, and acceptance to every student I have. We need more love in this world to drive out hate and it starts with children. I promise to continue to read diverse books, infuse the curriculum with life lessons from my travels & life experiences, and encourage children to live a life of wonder, acceptance, tolerance, and kindness.
I hope this e-mail gives you some comfort. Please give your child a hug from me this evening and convey that I am proud to be their teacher and that I am thinking of them.
With Love,
Ms. Miragliotta
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ReplyDeleteHi Ronan. Thank you for reaching out. I am sorry that you are upset about our dynamic during your 4th grade school year. I remember you being very good at arguing and telling you that you would make a great lawyer. I remember you being a master of technology and that you had great potential to be a leader in class.
DeleteI do not appreciate you calling me a liar as I pride myself on being truthful and encourage others to be honest humans.
Your recollection of the shooting is very different from mine, so we will have to agree to disagree about that. I am glad that we all made it out of the incident safely. I am so sorry that you and the others involved had to experience something so terrible.
I hope that if we do cross paths that we can meet each other with kindness. Kindness is what we need a lot more of in the world. We need less name-calling, less negativity, and fewer put-downs. We need to build each other up and forgive others for not being perfect. I apologize for any upset I caused you as your teacher.
I care very much about each one of my former students and I wish you the best of luck in your bright future. I will always be here for you if you need anything. I encourage you to reach out if you do or if you just want to give me an update about how your life is going. msmiragliotta@gmail.com. I just ask that students CC their parents when reaching out.
Stay safe!
Peace and Love,
Ms. Miragliotta
“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart