Krabi and Koh Phi-Phi Thailand
Until I ate the food cooked at Tiger Temple, I had only heard about this terrible beast called food poisoning. It was categorized in my head alongside, kidney stones, childbirth, major surgery, and getting shot, all of which I had never experienced first hand. Now, I wouldn't wish food poisoning on my worst enemy. I also don't know if I have a worst enemy. Maybe Stephanie Atkins a.k.a. Evil. Yeah, it's Her. Anyway...
Only partially conquering the beast that is F.P., we departed the city of Krabi, on cushioned bench seats in the bed of a pickup truck. This truck's bed had a roof and I wished it didn't because the two English lesbians sitting across from me were chain-smoking. I also wished that Rich, Jasmine, and Marisa would emerge from their jungle bungalows and get in the truck already, so we can get to the port. I was sweating profusely, the air felt hot and thick, and as they lit up again, I fought the urge to give the lesbots the stink eye. I wasn't concerned with missing the boat because every mode of transportation we used on this journey so far (tuk-tuk, long-tail boat, ship, train, bus, taxi) was tardy. The vomiting was gone, but the intense nausea was as present as the 45L backpack between my legs. Finally, as I thought the odor of leftover bananas from Rich's rescue remedies would cause me to vomit all over the owner of Vasana Bungalows, my traveling companions piled in. We waved goodbye to Vasana and the breeze moving through the bed of the old pickup felt refreshing. That nice woman had no idea how close I was to heaving all over her.
Exhaust fumes, more cigarettes, bumps, tuk-tuks, and finally the port. Since I was a kid, my dad owned a boat. I never understood how or why people could be seasick...now I get it. Choosing to stay above deck instead of below was a good choice. Dr. Jasmine Ormaechea Pharmacia gave me some pills to swallow. I wanted to have more than a banana in my stomach, so I grabbed a slice of bread from the bag of life. Rich sat next to me and put his arm around me. It helped.
Human contact has an amazingly positive effect on me. Eating half of that slice of bread was harder than climbing the rock in Tanote Bay, where if I had slipped, I would certainly have fallen to my death. I never ate the other half of the slice because when I looked into my lap at the bag containing the remaining loaf, I noticed ants having a party inside. Without hesitation or a significant reaction, I weakly tossed all the bread we had in the garbage can next to me. I laid down on the white bench of the open deck and passed out. The boat was still docked. Late.
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| Notice the bandages on Rich's knees from the motorbike crash and the scrapes from cliff diving at Tanote Bay. |
When I woke up, Marisa was seated next to me reading and the Rich Jasmine duo was gone. She informed me about their plan to tie me to the railing due to my small size and their fear that I may fall overboard while sleeping. Those two, haha. The Andaman Sea was a beautiful color. We were heading to the location I was most excited about, Koh Phi Phi. Koh Phi Phi is where the movie, The Beach was filmed and I felt like death was coming for me. My mom had every right to be worried about me going to Thailand for a month.
After finally arriving at Koh Phi Phi Don, we paid our 20 baht tax to get on the island and walked toward our beach bungalow. Walking felt good and I convinced myself that I could down a Snickers (a staple in our Thailand diet plan), so I did. I remembered our travel agent in Bangkok told us this bungalow would have air conditioning. Ask my roommate, Adam, I would go all summer in NJ without touching the air conditioner, but in the condition I was in, AC was a luxury I would sell my passport for. Once we realized Phi Phi Nice Resort was located on the beach of the marina next to the Phi Phi Hospital and our view was the back of the building in front of us which had a long crack oozing a brown foam-like substance, we were NOT happy about it.
Jasmine would not tolerate the location and was determined to convince Maam to change our placement. I was as helpful as a truckload of chihuahuas. Naptime for me. I was sandwiched between the Bay of Bengal and the Andaman Sea, in the most beautiful place I have ever seen, and I was in an air-conditioned hotel room napping. After nearly coming to blows, so I was told, with the resort manager, Jasmine was able to get in touch with someone from Tiger Travel and make arrangements. The chain-smoking English lesbians reappeared and were equally unsatisfied, however, they didn't bring a blonde Argentinian with them. The next step was to venture across the island to find a more suitable place to stay and then call Tiger Travel back.
Stupidly, I joined the quest for a better bungalow with Marisa and Jasmine. We were tipped off by a few scuba instructors. Eventually, after hiking (yes, hiking through the jungle to the other side of the island on a 45 min walk), Jasmine and Marisa's determination paid off when they found Paradise Pearl Resort. Cue angels singing. While they negotiated, I sat in the dark on the beach feeding the mosquitoes 32 and a half-year-old American blood. Geez, they walk fast. During the return trek through the main area of the island, the stench of Thai BBQ mixed with durian fruit reminded me that I was not better. I covered my nose with my grey bandanna, looked down and followed the long-legged ladies back to Phi Phi Nice Resort. Not so nice...actually.
The next morning, we packed up, jumped in a long tail boat and headed across the island to the most beautiful beach I had ever seen. The weather was gorgeous and as soon as we checked in and dropped our packs in the room, we headed to the beach. About a half-hour later, I decided to fully embrace the paradise Jasmine fought so hard for by taking yet another nap.
I still felt nauseous and had "stomach issues" for 4 days, so I read about Bangkok Belly and dysentery in my Thailand book (thanks to Bob). Since I couldn't eat and could barely drink, I decided (with the push from friends at home...thanks Nick) to admit myself to the hospital. Rich flagged a water taxi and the 4 of us bypassed the nauseating odors of the main strip (thank God) and headed toward the hospital.
We walked into the hospital and Mother Jasmine explained my symptoms. I learned that I weigh 45 kg or 110 pounds. As I observed the surroundings, I noticed that this establishment didn't look much like a hospital at all. It was more like some sort of clinic where women go to get their nails done. They even had soap operas playing on the television. Anyway, the nurse asked me questions and measured my vitals. No fever. Next, she brought me into the emergency room (which was just a room full of medical supplies and a few beds). She took blood (gloveless), listened to my stomach (noisy), and gently inserted an IV into my left hand while Jasmine held my right hand (I still have the scar. Maybe I will show you sometime...for 10 baht). The blood results showed that my infection was minor, so she decided to give me fluids, antibiotics, electrolyte powder, and pills for stomach cramping and nausea. However, the drip would take about 4-5 hours.
"Is she fine? Okay, good. Is there wifi?" Marisa questioned. I like to hope she was more concerned about my well-being than the wifi. I admit it was the best wifi we had all trip! Rich and Jasmine were talking loudly, asking the nurse questions and moving in and out of the room aggressively. At one point, Rich had his hand way to close to my IV and I recalled the story he told a few days ago where Jasmine accidentally ripped out his IV and blood was shooting everywhere. Crazy.
Eventually, I was placed in a quieter part of the nail salon and was given a bed. As the nurse led me, IV in tow, she removed 3 cats resting on the foot of my soon to be hospital bed's blanket/towel who must have come in through the open windows. Then, she tossed me mosquito repellent. Asia...
The look on my face must have prompted her to close all the windows near the bed. I wondered if I was getting Punked.
Rich and Jasmine left for dinner and Marisa stayed behind with me. The best part of the hospital so far was the free wifi. No, there wasn't any air conditioning, but there were 2 adjustable fans nearby. I pulled my towel/blanket toward me in an effort to cover any exposed skin and settled into my bed with iPhone in hand. I told Jorj about my condition via Tango and asked him not to tell my family (Sorry guys, but I didn't want you to worry more.). A different woman came in with 3 pills for me to take and an orange powder for my drink. Asian Gatorade? One pill was for nausea, the other stomach cramping and the last was an antibiotic.
Marisa and I chatted for a bit, FaceTimed with Jorj and laughed at the bizarreness of the whole thing.
Rich and Jasmine returned and brought Marisa a smoothie. They informed us that the windows around us are tinted on the inside so we can't see out, but people walking by on the streets can see in. Jasmine was so exhausted from her morning dive that she hopped into the bed next to me and went to sleep. Rich left for the Phi Phi equivalent of "Had Rin Beach," but promised to be back between 11 and 11:30.
Ten minutes later, the biting began. Jasmine and her nebula bruise from her fall this morning "came to" and jumped out of bed wondering why all of a sudden she had 6 bites on one elbow.
She thought maybe the cats had fleas or the mosquitoes were just super angry here. I gave her the magical Chinese lotion from Marisa's friend (thanks Angela) and it eased the irritation. Meanwhile, Marisa was also getting annihilated by insects and had to hop into the bed with me to cover any exposed skin. The little pests were actually buzzing in our ears!
Jasmine left us to see if we could move to a bugless room with air conditioning. "Pay more money," the nurse responded. So she asked another nurse and this one just said, "No." Jasmine followed her around while scratching her right elbow, persistently inquiring about an air-conditioned room. "She's going to get another disease just staying here. This place is hell on earth." Jasmine stated with frustration. Next, the nurse wandered over to my bedside and reached for my left arm as if she was going to remove the IV without warning. "Are you going to take it out?" I asked, puzzled because there was still about 1/4 of the solution left. She nodded her head, removed the IV (gloveless of course), placed a cotton ball and tape over the hole and walked away without uttering one word.
"What can we steal?" Jasmine asked as she opened a drawer. She found a pile of napkins and jacked those along with a few bottles of water stashed in a corner. We left realizing that we just got kicked out of a Thai hospital for requesting air conditioning.
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| So...they like to get kicked out of places. |
Now I was feeling a lot better and was super happy about that! Our next obstacle was to find Rich. Even though I was getting my groove back, I did not feel up for searching the crazy side of the island for Rich. Marisa and I told Jasmine it wasn't safe for her to search alone. After trying to think of the most logical way to solve this problem, we came to the conclusion that at 11:30, Rich will walk back to the Hospital, notice we aren't there and know that we MUST be back at Paradise Pearl. We didn't have any wifi, but I had a sharpie! We decided to write Rich a note on a white piece of styrofoam garbage laying on the walkway. Jasmine scribbled in blue ink: "Sorry Rich. We went home. Got kicked out of hospital. Come home."
We didn't leave the note on the steps of the now-closed and locked hospital but propped against the side of a potted plant in the walkway knowing that he will pass it en route to Paradise Pearl.
Yeah, our genius plan didn't work out the way we expected, but that is a story in itself.
The fluids didn't their magic and I was back in business. I couldn't wait for an American breakfast the next morning! Finally, I could enjoy Koh Phi Phi!
