My longest list of "things" so far...in no particular order...I hope you learn something and ultimately are entertained with a side of confusion. Yes, I know that I am ridiculous.
1 I like to drink hot, honey water in the winter. A soul-stirring book makes a nice pair. #milkandhoney or #waterandhoney
2 Everyone needs at least one good knife in their house.
3 See photo because this confusion made my brain hurt: What is the difference between sarcasm, facetiousness, and just f-ing with people? Thanks to Juleh and Bond for this one-
4. Canadian Tuxedo: Jean on Jean
5. Lesson learned...never rely on the battery of an iPhone 📱 during a winter hike. Always bring the Cannon. Always. #HangingLake
6. Needy people suck.
7. Winter hiking! Get yourself a pair of microspikes and fill your pack with peaks! #AWholeNewWorld
8. I found the perfect PMS food for me. French's jalapeño crisps found at Costco. When I am PMS-ing I crave spicy and salty. This bag of heaven takes care of both cravings in a few bites. The best part is the spice is intense enough for me where I cannot eat anymore after a handful or two. Therefore cutting me off from overeating. Overheating leads to overeating prevention.
#CravingFullySatisfied #theyearIgotfat
19. Everyone looks sophisticated while wearing a pair of safety glasses.
20. La Croix...life changing. Refreshing and guilt free. Coconut and Lime are my faves after trying every single "essence." Now I understand why we never saw a Hatch Expeditions River Guide without one in their hand. 3-11-17
21. Miragliottas are clappers.
22. One way to drink really hot coffee is to eat a gelato at the same time. Alternate hands and enjoy. #theyearIgotfat
23. Don't decide to purchase a new car in 2 hours. #idiot
24. Baths! Where have they been? I should have been taking baths for years. They are relaxing and water helps me think. Music and the perfect lighting. Aqua notes. The bathtub is my think tank.
25. Gelato is to coffee as a cold beer is to a hot bath.
26. Word vomit that shit. ~Bobby Brower on starting to write
27. I am addicted to social media.
28. Do you know how the wild Asian ass mates? The male noisily chases females (young following close behind her) around. Females kick at his throat to fight him off. Exhausted from recently giving birth and raising young, they finally give it up. I think when you call someone an ass you are actually calling them a rapist.
29. Tornadoes made of fire occur in Australia. I'm serious.
30. Peppermint does not keep spiders away.
31. A good friend takes your dead bird home to their apartment dumpster so it doesn't stink up your garbage can.
32. Have no friends not equal to yourself. -Mr. Browne Auggie & Me
33. Portlandia is genius and hilarious!
34. Chickens retreat to the coop after sunset when they feel predators may be around.
35. My sister, Jackie could possibly be part chicken. Ask for her impression.
36. If everyone made a conscious effort to build reflection into their daily routine, the results could change the world for the better. ~Me
37. Shivering after anesthesia is common.
38. A sports bra doubles as a transportation device for items that don't fit in your pockets while using crutches to walk.
39. When life changes, so do your eggs. -Bobby Brower
40. Crutches are a great tool for killing spiders (and for many other tasks featured here).
41. Deon Cole is right. Why aren't there any black band-aids?
42. Coloradans drizzle honey INSIDE their pizza crust. I am still not sure how I feel about this.
43. I dress like a Viking child.
44. Berserker (what a fun word to say)! It gives Francisco some stiff competition.
45. Roasted tomatoes...wow. Make pizza from scratch.
46. When exiting your car as the driver, reach for the handle with your right hand so your body turns to look for bikers. #doored prevention Thanks, Chris Thai
47. Attend a comedy show in a new town or state and you will learn a lot about that new place.
48. When bread making, kneading an important step! Duh, Kelly.
49. Once one of your dog's ACLs tear, it is only a matter of time before the other one tears as well.
50. Nationwide Pet Insurance sucks (at least my plan sucks). I should've started paying myself between $30 and $60 a month instead of getting pet insurance years ago.
51. Cosmos Creations Maple Pecan Premium Puffed Corn is heaven on earth. Thanks, Mom.
52. Dishwashers...what a smart invention. I truly appreciate that machine and the hand cream (yes, cream, not lotion is advisable in CO) it saves me from needing.
53. Chris's Cick-Ass Cake Cocktail (Moscow Mule with a Jamaican twist and some party (B-day cake vodka) flav.
54. I'm glad Puggle will be sticking around for a few more years. Surgery was a good choice.
55. I have never been good at using eye drops and am pretty much a baby about it. However, it's so dry in CO, I find myself using them more frequently. I discovered that using eyedrops in the dark is easier for me because I can't anticipate the drop because I can't see it and do not blink as much. Disclaimer, if you try my method, you may waste a lot of eye drops, so get your AIM game on.
56. Today, I decided it was time to learn how to fold a fitted sheet. Here is the woman who taught me how to do it. Thank you Teresa Sanderson. 9-23-17 Finally.
57. It's difficult to balance quarters in a bar in Colorado. (so many hills)
58A. My mother has Saran Wrap that is dedicated just to the holiday of Easter.
58B. I noticed that she has a strange obsession for freshening the air... each room in the house has a different scent. Her white Santa Fe currently has a combined scent of Morning Fresh (thank you, Jorj) and a mystery soap in a silver cage that will probably find a home hanging from the rearview mirror. If she can ever open it again with her long nails. #nailsdone
58C. She has a super sense of smell.
59. Long fingernails freak me out. Claws. AH!
60. There are two kinds of people in this world… People who recognize, appreciate, and create puns as often as possible. And people who don’t understand or appreciate puns.
61. I know how to can (or jar) food, keep a yeast culture alive (thank you Marissa), and make sourdough bread from scratch. #levi
62. Chapped lips enhance wine lips #COWinters Looking in the bathroom mirror like WHaaAT?
63. The magic of a new human connection is as inspiring as a bold new discovery. #TEDXMILEHIGHwonder
64. I flippin LOVE breakfast burritos.
65. Credit card chips can fall out.
66. Oven Fan Under Cover- Kel
67. CO students at STEM understand my puns
68. There aren’t enough Jews in Colorado to get Jewish holidays off of school.
69. Lazy Boy reclining chairs are A. Mazing
70. Pronking- Google it
71. White Rock on front Lawn = Swingers’ House
72. I can’t watch Drop Dead Fred at this age without feeling anxiety. #cobwebs
73. Quality Ramen is worth a long drive. Next move, cook Ramen myself.
74. Happy Tears has a thing for a man in uniform.
75. Indian people have the best spice cabinets
76. Intermittent Fasting interests me because it makes sense and I have seen results others have had. #JanuaryGoals
77. If you move to CO from the NJ/NY area...make your own pizza.
78. Jumping Cacti exist
79. All roads lead to Moab
80. I never understood the little benches or resting stations in the middle of the mall hallways. They are for resting! People WANT to rest. Either they spent a long time in the mall or they are just tired. I guess either way they are tired. So, I approached a bench and it looked appealing. I used it for 10 glorious minutes. I finally got tired at 36 years old. I get it now, mall resters...I get it.
81. I do some deep thinking at museums. #solowalk
82 Don't walk past the Denver Zoo in the dark after watching wild Africa on IMAX. I heard roaring! The funny part was that I had no idea the Zoo was located right next to the museum.
83. Googly Eyes make great conversation.
84. "A fun little scramble" is NOT a very specific way to describe a segment of a hike. Sorry, Nina and Jason. #batcave
85. Good/quality sushi and pizza are hard to find in the Denver Area. Suggestions welcome.
In 2018, "I go to seek a great perhaps."
words of the poet, Francois Rebelaid
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