Funny Moments of 2020
It is great to have had some laughable moments despite the chaos of 2020.
Is Jersey a language? “Yo! Fucking relax!”
JF
I have the advantage of being a hypochondriac. I was born for this.
Caitlin on the Coronavirus 4-14-20
The moon is waning.
That’s how Barbara Walters tells the weather, “It’s waning.” ☔️
If you built a teepee out of toilet paper, would it be called a TP Teepee?
If you open both a gun shop & a Chinese food restaurant in Walla Walla Washington, it could be called: Ting tang walla walla bang bang?
BB Meets Dosey Doe: SD 2020
You got a sunburn today
That’s from all them presidents staring at me.
So, we are required to wear face shields next school year.
L.T. 6-16-20
Let the bitch get COVID. I don’t care.
7-7-20 NC
Kelly: Let’s have a baby!
Katie: And you are quitting your job.
Kelly: Yes, it is perfect.
Katie: I just bought a Play Station.
8-23-20
When FL washes away to sea I am going to go to Georgia and clap.
C.D. 9-16-20.
The potato and carrots get mushy in a crock pot...But with the Insta pot, the integrity of your potato remains. 9-27-20 H.H
No, Kelly. We are not renting a goat.
Katie 9-29-20
I licked the whole yoga block. I licked the package and waited two months and expected to die.
C.D. 9-30-20
Ed: I just found grapes in my pocket.
My mom: Ed, that’s my coat.
Ed: What the heck is going on?
My Mom: Ed, they were cough drops.
Kelly taught me how to use a protractor last night. I don’t know short and long vowels, but I am ready for fourth-grade math. 10-17-20 Jackie
Teaching is so stressful I can’t wait to get pregnant so I could take a leave of absence. NA 10-26-20
You’re strong as hell but part of you is a dingbat!
Penny
Haha
"Take ya hat off maybe you’ll hear betta."
Sal’s mom to Linz October 2020
Kel, look at this rock!
Mom, that looks like a beach fetus.
Jersey Shore 2020
Camping in October 2020
Ed, you look bombed. You had two beers and a bloody Mary.
Cin, it doesn’t count if someone hands you an open beer. It doesn’t count.
Remember that time we lived alone with each other? You were not around so often that I got scared when I realize you were behind me.
11-12-20 Me about when Katie had COVID
Funny Moments From the Diem Team
My sister, Jackie has three adorable littles, Brooklyn (6), Hunter, and Cole (4-twins). These moments are from texts she sent me in 2020. Clearly, they are getting to know their bodies. I am not sure if the emoji's Jackie put after each one will translate, but most of them are looks of shock, horror, and what the hell should I say to that?! Thank you for always sharing these moments with me, Jacko!
Brooklyn was on the potty before and said it burned when she peed so I threw her in the tub/shower and washed her butt. Now, three hours later, she turns and looks at me and says, "Mommy, I know why my butt was hurting.” I said, "Why B?" She goes, “Because the other day I tucked my underwear up there." “Brooklyn why would you do that?” “Because I wanted it to be like yours.”
Brooklyn sat down by Tucker (dog) on the couch. He was sitting up. She hopped down confused and asks, “Why does he have that pointy thing sticking out?” I pretended to do something else so Fred (husband) could answer.
“It's just something he has B.”
“But daddy you should know why. Don’t you have one too? You have a wiener.”
“Mommy, so your poop comes out the back and the pee comes out the front.”
“Yes, Brooklyn”
“Okay. So boys pee comes out their wiener.”
“Correct, just like us girls, but we don’t have a wiener.”
“Okay. So pee comes out the front poop comes out the back just like us, but what are those little things that hang in the middle?”
😳
1-12-20
Hunter was trying on his new underwear and continued to dig in the front hole. Brooklyn goes, "Mommy. What is that?” I said, It’s a hidden pocket for his weiner in case he has to take it out to pee. She goes “Wow! That’s so cool!”
Boys got a new bus company, new bus new drivers (😭 I loved the other drivers) so Fred and I got them off the bus today and asked them how they like the new bus. Cole goes, “No me like that new bus! It’s too fast, SLOW DOWN!”
Apparently, the driver and I have to have a chat tomorrow morning lol
1-27-20
Brooklyn comes into my room and says, "Bye mommy. I’m going to Colorado for a couple hours.”
1-29-20
“Mommy, why do boys have weiners and girls have vaginas?”
Me running out of ways to explain this for the 500th time...“Because you need both to make a baby.”
“So do they kiss or something?”
😳
Also questioned nipples, she said only the boys have them. I told her to look down and she said oh I have them to why!? I told her that after she has a baby, milk comes out. 5 minutes later she said to Fred, “ I don’t want to have a baby.”
“Why B? You don’t have to.”
“Because I don’t want milk to come out of my nipples.”
I thought he was going to lose it lol lol 😂
“Mommy, I don’t want to brush my hair.”
“Ok then I’ll just leave the knots in and you can grow dreadlocks.”
“What are dreadlocks?”
“Almost like all knots that you would have to cut to get out then you’ll be bald.”
“ I don’t want to be bald!!”
“I wish I was because I don’t have good hair anymore.”
“No mommy! I love you hair. I don’t want you to be bald”
“I’m not going to B. I was just saying”
“Mommy, do you wish you were a boy then?”
“No, B I like being a girl.”
“Me too, Because I wouldn’t want to hold it down.”
4-21-20
Before Camping
Ed (grandpa): Brooklyn you’re going to have to show me the ropes.
Brooklyn: Grandpa, there’s no ropes.
First day back for in-person learning 12-7-20 (Pre-K)
I warned Brookie to put Hunter by the window on the bus so he would have to get past Cole AND her to run out. lol
“He’s going to run out?!?” - Brooklyn
Today all the kids got on the bus happily. I was all excited and then I got the call from Hunter’s teacher. She told me he was upset and crying but then she found a new box of toys in the closet. She let him help her unwrap it so now he’s all good. She said while he was upset Cole said to him, “Change your attitude, Hunter." LOL
12-8-20
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